Where Can a Feline Turn

The Pentagon is reviewing another of it's controversial laws, the one banning cats from openly serving in the military, or Don't Ask, Don't Meow.  For years the military has only allowed dogs to serve, banning cats from any form of military service, but that may be changing.  Bolstered by the recent repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell feline rights group the Cat Affection Team, or C.A.T., along with the Feline Rights Campaign have pushed for the Pentagon to review and eventually repeal the law.

C.A.T. Director Cathy Ward, a 52 year-old, stay at home widow who has 22 cats of her own, said "It's time.  It's time for cats everywhere to be able to stand on all fours and serve our nation proudly.  What, you think only a dog can sniff out bombs?...besides, can a dog always land on all fours?  No, no they can not...do they have 9 lives?"  Cathy has long been a cat lover, and founded C.A.T. a few years ago after one of her own, 6 year old Thomas, was denied entry into the military.  "It was a terrible experience for him" Cathy said, "He didn't eat for a few hours after that."

Even after all this time it was difficult for Thomas to talk about the incident, but he still gave us a statement "Meow meow meow meow, meow meow mrow," he then proceeded to clean himself for a few minutes before continuing, "meow mow mow meow, meow meow meow meow meow.  Purr purr purr purr purr purr purr."  Simply a heartbreaking tale.

Lawyers from the Feline Rights Campaign have pitched in to help Ms. Ward fight this battle.  Harriet Barker, President of the campaign, said "this problem goes far beyond a simple law, this extends to the homes, where people mistreat cats all the time.  Dog's are called 'man's best friend' where cats are usually reduced to phrases describing derogatory things such as 'scare-dy cat', or the term 'catty' just to name two.  I mean sure, they scratch you for no reason, walk with there claws out, bite your ankles when you don't feed them, they are afraid of water and dogs, and leave dead rodents on your doorstep and...I forgot where I was going with this."  Could not have said it better.

Yet for all this the question remains: will Thomas' fight be in vain?

Russ VanAllen
Covering news the mainstream media won't...or doesn't know about because I fabricate it...