Monday, April 26, 2010

To the owner of a tan mid-sized sedan, your lights are on...

It's lesson time today. Here at the school of Russ VanAllen we feel it proper to educate people on life, and how it really works. Our lesson today is going to cover how to drive on the highway, since I've come to realize people apparently don't know how to. The topic of this lesson is "Lanes: How to use them." Part I: When there are three lanes...this is actually quite simple the right is for slow people, the middle for us who drive the speed limit and the left is when the slow people come into the normal lane. Now, for the people out there who think that just because the left lane has nobody in it they can cruise in it, I hate to burst your bubble (ok not really, but...) it's because it's not meant to be cruised in. I know you may find this hard to believe as you apparently think that everybody has decided to stay out of that lane so you personally can use it, but that's not the case, we are all just smarter than you and know what it's there for. THE WORLD DOESN'T REVOLVE AROUND YOU! Who do you think you are?...Me?...In your dreams! So stop living in your fantasy world and use the correct lane, or so help me I will...oh, I forgot Part II: When there are two lanes, same as when there are three just cut out the slow people.

Russ VanAllen, making the world a better place.

1 comment:

  1. Does this mean that I shouldn't use the third lane to go 85 all the way to rehearsal?
    <3 - Your Teach