What's worse than a beaver?...

Just when I thought that the beavers in Canada were all we needed to fear, there's something far worse and far more sinister (I'll keep my build up shorter this time)...Sea Turtles. That's right. Why are they worse, you ask? Because they can use technology (*Gasp*). They've already sent a video message to us, and, as normal, we think it's so "cool" and "cute" that it did this (It's a YouTube hit...or so they say). But don't be fooled, this can only mean one thing. This "video" was a "Terrorist Ultimatum Video" (Or TUV for short), and the sea turtles are obviously planning an attack very soon. One that may dwarf 9-11 (Too soon?). It's disturbing to me that the main stream media is treating this as a joke, and something that's adorable. This is scary stuff (Way to not blow this out of proportion...). They are obviously a technologically advanced species, they live to be...well I don't know, really old though, and they're born armored (How can we compete with that?...). I wouldn't be surprised if the sea turtles are to blame for the oil spill (Uh-oh...). So be careful, and stay out of the water, it's their natural home (...).

Russ VanAllen
Beavers are still evil, though...